There is no second opinion to the statement that Love is complicated. Life is full of beautiful things and Love is most beautiful thing, we love ,we live ,we get,we lose that is the process of life but anyways we swim in an ocean of complication. Some relationships survive this complication and some can't. Like the most beautiful flower , rose has a number of spikes love do come with complication. Well I am not the relationship expert here , I felt to write on this topic because today evening under some discussion with a good friend of mine this came instantaneously and I started pointing out the things and came with the ten golden ones (well, I felt so). So here it goes...
Most of the time Love is one sided, I love you,but you don't love me. You love me but I don't love you...it's complicated. Tell me whose fault is this ? You have full right to love someone , that person has full right to love or not love you in return. Cupid might mostly be drunk or drowsy to miss the target so that out of the two arrows from his bow , one hits correctly while the other misses its target.
In nowhere it is written that we can't Love two different person at the same time." I love her, she's sooo...beautiful,but I find peace in her, I love her too"; " He is so caring I would love to spend my life with him , but he's very cute I miss him too , I love both of them ". These type of thoughts often comes to our mind. Some people from past are hard to forget and we love them but we don't want to leave the person we love now at present. We may love someone more than the another but still if asked to choose between them...it's Complicated.
Love is a feeling , it has no boundary. Boundaries due to religion , caste , color , age , relationships and even sex can't confine Love. But due to restriction that are provided by the society people are bound to compromise with it ." I can't marry him , my parents won't allow " ; " I am married, I can't love her "; " I don't deserve him , what people will think? "; " We can't be together our society is against homosexuality , anyways we need to have kids in future"...it's Complicated. We love doves flying but if a pair of dove trapped in a cage , how can we experience the beauty when they fly and play up in the air ?
Love is just like having a ride without brakes, we just don't have control over it. It's not like that we know when we will fall in love and with whom. It happens... unknowingly , unintentionally , unwillingly. We realize it very soon or very late. If its too late...I mean very very late we feel like missing something in life. We feel like breathing not living life , but the person we love is gone at that time. Why there should not be something like an alarm that would beep and tell us that " Buddy! congratzzz!ur in love " ? Isn't it's Complicated?
For some love is divine and they bond emotionally with their partner. All they want to be together and provide emotional support when they need. But for some it is a lie, a game that can start anywhere but must end in a bed. For them love is just a mode to fulfill sexual desires. They use term 'time-pass' for a relationship they are not serious to. Eventually they start searching for new partner every other day. And they lie , cheat , break hearts." I loved him so much but all he wanted to sleep with me "; " I don't know why she cheated me and slept with that asshole in the new year eve?". Why love is so imbalanced ? why don't we get same amount of love in return ? why love comes with no warranty ? because it's Complicated.
Past,Present & Future are equally important. Present is highly influenced by past, a terrible mistake or a bad experience makes us reluctant to do any thing like that. Similarly we keep our eyes on future and how to make it better every time. If someone had a bad relationship in past then he will be reluctant in any new relationship or will start expecting the same in the current relationship. Some will start expecting the future with their partner , will they go together in coming time or they have something else in future ? Why can't we take a second chance so easily ? Why our bad memories in past keep us haunting while the good ones has no significance at all ?
Why we always want to see ourselves in future ?,why can't we enjoy the present ? It's Complicated.
Ego clashes happens everywhere, whether in professional relationship or personal relationship the self loving nature of human makes them egoistic. The ego comprises of that organized part of personality structure that includes defensive , perceptual , intellectual and executive functions. Conscious awareness resides in the ego , although not all the operations of the ego are conscious. The ego separates what is real. It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and world around us. In any relationship ego tries to avoid compromising situations. It deliberately avoid words like, thanks , please & sorry. Those three words make things easy with the partner.
For example," why would i call first ?";" he should have said a sorry, at least once!"; " I did so much for her and she never said a thanks even". Why love is not self less? Why we expect formalities? Why can't we see things the other way around,i.e. in our partner's point of view?... It's Complicated.
This is 21st century ,the techno era, almost every thing is governed by the technology. Cell phones, sms, orkut, facebook, twitter, shaadi.com , google, yahoo, are significant part of our lives.
Just imagine how many friend of yours met through Orkut or how many time an unknown number calling you asking for friendship. With technology your crush is easily accessible and you are connected to them almost every time but you accept or not it is the mother of most dangerous complications. Now the best of the lovers cheat because he/she gets access or being accessed by a large no of people at the same time. As the new opportunities come they take the current one for granted. The true feelings were earlier expressed through love letters, but now the sms are being forwarded carrying rhymes, shayaries, jokes etc downloaded from an internet site. The feeling when you miss somebody increase your love for somebody but now a mobile call kills that feeling. The curiosity to know somebody is being satisfied by visiting orkut or facebook accounts. I believe the things that can be sorted out by talking face to face personally can't be done through sms or phone call but it often leads to misunderstandings. The eye contact can make things believable but it is very difficult or impossible to make things believing to your partner over phone or sms. The routine dates are reduced to phone calls these days and lovers hardly see each other.
When someone is in love , he/she becomes a dreamer, they just start imagining their partner in everything they do, and in everywhere. but there is a large difference in reality, things mostly or never work out the way they keep imagining and then , it hurts. Some body met some one and like him/her and then start to think to be in love with him/her...now both are in love,they start imagining about marriage and to start a family...but if the things won't work the way they thought it will give unnecessary emotional disturbances .Why do we think a love is successful only after the couple get married ? Why love leads to impossible and unnatural dreams that has no significance in reality ? Why do we expect our partner the way we want him/her to be ? and that too our expectations are never ending. Why some body wants to change his/her partner to that qualities he/she was attracted to earlier ?...It's Complicated.
From Centuries, from the time of our forefathers certain love myths coming all around. I have collected some of them to mention here. Love at first sight ; Girl's no is yes ; Friendship is a form of love ; Love never dies ; True love can happen once in a lifetime ; If you are in love with something just let it go, the mother nature will bring it back to you ; True love need not to be expressed. I don't know if these things really exist but these things becomes a part of our perception and our approach towards love. For example if a girl says no, it means no , but we start thinking yes because ' girl's no is yes ' as per our knowledge . Again even if we love someone truly but we won't express it to that person then that person won't start seeing it that way (the way we think about that person). Furthermore that person will not find that much trust in us. Unless and until we throw these things away and become more practical to issues like love...It's Complicated.
When we are in Love we hardly listen to our mind it is always the heart to whom we listen to. Hence, we face a lot of complications. But what will happen if we start listening to our mind ? Does there will not be any complication or will be more of it ?...Just think about it...It's Complicated too.
